How many types of rejection do you experience as an author? There are bad reviews, rejection letters, harsh critiques, or even the dreaded silence of nope. Dealing with these things is hard enough, but when you also have rejection sensitive dysphoria, something that’s common to many neurodivergent individuals. It’s more than just feeling bad about a rejection letter. It also means the following:
- Difficulty in “bouncing back” after rejections or even a perceived failure
- Low self-esteem and negative self-talk
- Avoiding things because of a fear of failure
- Perfectionism and trying to do everything “right”
- Overwhelmed by emotions when receiving feedback or rejection (like bursting into tears)
- And much more. (Here’s a great article from the Cleveland Clinic which discusses it.)
When you put RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) together with the difficulties of being an author, it’s easy to see why people get overwhelmed, give up, or simply have difficulties in handling the ups and downs of this business. The good news is that once you’re aware of RSD, you can work with it, rather than against it.
What does working with RSD mean?
In a large sense, it means being aware of your RSD and how it affects you. Once you have this awareness, you can work with it. First, by being aware that when a rejection hits hard, it’s simply the way that you’re wired. It allows you to give yourself compassion and self-care when you experience this, and not use it as an excuse to be hard on yourself.
Secondly, you can draft strategies to help ease the sting of rejection. Perhaps you will treat yourself when you hear back from a publication–no matter what the response is. Or maybe you will find ways to laugh at bad reviews, rather than become upset with them. Maybe you can call on friends and loved ones to cheer you up or keep a folder of good reviews and positive critiques to review when you are feeling down about your writing.
The bottom line is that RSD is something to be aware of and know that you can work with. I’m not a big fan of “cure” language, and since RSD comes along with neurodivergence, I also understand that it takes executive function to make changes, and that can be difficult for those of us who are neurodivergent. For me, simply knowing that it exists helps provide food for thought as I think about ways to lessen its impact on my life. That may mean switching wholly over to self-publishing. It may also mean implementing strategies such as the ones mentioned here. Want help with this? Let’s talk!
