Unsupportive family members suck when it comes to your writing. Let me share a story with you.
I had an aunt who had read one of my very first published books. It was bit of an add series; I’m still not sure it’d do well in the market because it combined two romance genres whose readers I don’t think overlap. But my aunt didn’t see the book for what it is; she saw the book as a love story and wanted to know when I’d publish more. I did, but never in paperback, but nearly every time I spoke to her, for a couple of decades until her passing she’d ask, “when are you going to stop writing that other stuff and get back to this series? I really liked it.”
I don’t think she meant it to hurt. I believe she truly enjoyed the first book and wanted to read more of it. Readers didn’t quite agree, and after a while I became burnt out on the genre before going on to write something else. After a while, I began telling my aunt I’d stopped writing. “Oh that’s a shame. That one book of yours was so good. I wish you’d write more.”
Like I said, I don’t think she meant it to hurt, but it did. Certainly I didn’t feel as if she saw me (and the book which had magical elements, that she told me she just ignored) and the writing I was doing. It was akin to my mother questioning my move into paranormal romance. “Why can’t you write a cowboy book? Maybe with a baby?” Because while I wrote plenty of cowboys, there was no way I could write one of the “secret baby” books she loved. Nope.
I’m sure those stories sound familiar and there may even be family members who choose not to support your writing even that tiny bit. it can be difficult to write when you don’t have supportive people around you. Your creativity is affected. Your desire to tell people about your books (aka your marketing) is affected. And most of all, it just feels wrong, as if you’re doing something clandestine when you write your stories. Sometimes that can be a thrill. There are other times when it can be a drag.
So how can you keep writing when you have unsupportive family members?
First, remember that it’s not about them. It’s about you and what you want to do. If you’re writing, I’m sure it’s for a darn good reason. You have a story that needs to be told, a character clamoring to get out into the world, or perhaps a message or a mission to share. The fact that you may have an unsupportive family member or two doesn’t change those things.
Second, we all have them. Family can be a good word or it can be a bad word depending on who you’re talking to and what the subject is. There’s a good chance even the big names you enjoy had people around them that were like “you’re going to write what?” or “you do what for a living?”. And if their tune changes when the money rolls in, then that’s even worse. Because it truly shows that they didn’t support that person for themself, but rather for whatever they are doing can get them.
Third, find support elsewhere. The writing community can be a wonderfully supportive place. I’ve found a great community on Mastodon and a search for the tags #bookstodon, #writingcommunity, #WritersCoffeeClub, or other more genre specific ones, not to mention the ubiquitous #WritersOf(Social Media Platform) can bring you into contact with them. Discord is hard for me to remember to open, or look at (probably need to put that on the schedule), but there are several great writing communities on Discord and other places, too.
Last, and perhaps I should have said this first, don’t let it get to you. The people who aren’t supportive of your work are saying far more about themselves and nothing about you, or your writing. Keep on writing, because when you’re in the chair (or on the couch or wherever) and getting words down, the only opinion at that moment that matters? It’s yours.
Keep writing!
